WHAT THE HELL??? Did you know this was a real thing? This is an alligator snapping turtle. I believe they originate in HELL!!! This type of turtle got one of our sweet ducks this week. How do I know it was this resident of Hell that got her? Because I saw the jerk eating her!!! It was all very traumatic and I am so sad that our female duck was eaten.
When I saw her laying out in the water I knew it was bad. Mostly because our ducks don’t go in the pond. They are love to stand on the shore line and root around in the mud for bugs. Downton never goes in the water and Cora only goes deep enough to float. They are more into pools and water troughs and things they can see the bottom of. I made Sydney row out in a kayak and retrieve her body. Somebody asked me yesterday, “You made Sydney row out there knowing that turtle was in there?” My answer is, “Yes, yes I did.” Don’t judge my parenting. The ducks are my favorite animals and I was not going to leave Cora out there for that dinosaur to eat all day long at his leisure. It’s not like I made Sydney swim out to get her body. She had a very sturdy kayak from Costco. We are not dealing with JAWS here. As she paddled out I literally thought to myself, “I have my Dave Ramsey Emergency Account fully funded and I will spend every dime of that to save her if there is any chance.” Well, God heard that and when Sydney finally made it to shore it was clear that there was no chance. That bastard turtle reached out of the water and snapped her neck. At least she didn’t suffer but I have a message for the turtle…..
Change “Mandarin” to “Alligator Snapping Turtle”
And another one….. Change “my father” to “my sweet Cora.”
I don’t know what Jurassic Park movie you escaped from but your time is up dude. I have friends with guns, dynamite and one friend that said she would watch the pond from a dear stand…the point is we are coming for you. Did you enjoy your Duck a la’orange because that was your last meal.
Anyway, the fall out from this loss was one very sad little buddy who had lost his wife. We comforted him with Kale and a swim in the water trough. I was ready to hope in the car and drive to Tyler to pick up some ducklings I found on Craig’s List so he would not be lonely. Jesse put the kabash on that with the point of, “Don’t you think we need to get rid of that turtle first? I mean otherwise we are just feeding it.” Right, good point. And this is why the Lord put us together. It broke my heart to see him all alone in his little duck hut eating bugs. I know that animals don’t feel things like us. I was ready to walk out of Jurassic World when they animated the dinosaur to look like he had a tear rolling down his face. (Come on! Reptiles have to lick their eyeballs to keep them moist!) But when I saw Downton out there calling for her my heart broke. Also I was so sad that we wouldn’t have anymore duck eggs. My whole Egg slogan is “Sojourn Farm Fresh Eggs: Every Dozen includes a luck duck egg.” (Credit to my dad for that slogan) Now we would have to start all over again.
But then, the morning after her death, there was a duck egg in the duck hut! Now, I had not had any coffee yet so I wasn’t thinking clearly, but my mind went to, “Oh my gosh, she is back from the dead!” Then I went to, “Oh I bet its a rogue chicken egg.” I asked Syd if there were any chickens in the Duck Hut when she fed, and she said no. So then I started to ponder everything I knew about my Jumbo Pekin Male Duck named Downton…..
Side bar, I have a Batchelor’s of science in Agricultural Economics with a minor in Animal Science from Texas Tech University. I took two poultry classes. I had to sex poultry in that class. So why I did not actually check Downton’s sex, is beyond me. All I can say is that he acted like a dude, he was dude sized and I caught him “on top” of her twice. Now if living in this day and age has taught me anything it’s that you cannot assume someones gender by the traditional context clues. Here I was gender profiling Downton.
So as it turns out, Downton is just a bossy, butch, big-boned lady who likes to assert her dominance by jumping on other ducks. Sydney looked up a video on how to sex Pekin’s just to be doublely sure. So now our slogan still works because Downtinina is still laying an egg everyday. I have apologized profusely for congratulating Cora on here egg laying ability this whole time when it was Downinique the whole time! She also has recovered from losing her “friend.” She still goes down the shore of the pond like her and Cora use to do, but Downanna has never gone in the water. We use to tease her about that, turns out she knew something we did know. We are working on feminizing her name. The problem is she already comes to Downton. So that is a whole mess, but I don’t know how to fix it yet.
We are really sad to lose Cora. And we really are going to have to do something about that dinosaur because I don’t want him getting our swimming Corgi. Not sure what the plan is for sure, but that pond eco system has gone unchecked long enough. If we have learned anything from the Jurassic movies it’s that messing with nature is always a good idea. I’m sure there will be more blogs posts about it. For now, we are just thrilled that we still get a duck egg everyday.